Today started all wrong. The optimist in me says, “That means it can only get better!”. Let me explain.
My oldest daughter has Sensory Processing Disorder. Some of you know her and not the disease. Others of you don’t know her but have heard of and might even know someone who has SPD. Maybe you don’t know either “S” or SPD and maybe you know both.
Depending on the day I’m no sure which one I am! Today was a day that I only know ONE thing-that life is not fair. If it was, then S would be a typically functioning nine-year old. She’d be able to help me around the house and make friends easily. She wouldn’t know what it was like for people to make fun of her because she is different and would believe me when I tell her she is smart.
Instead I had to pull A (her younger sister) aside and ask her how she sees her older sister as being different from other kids. I reminded her to have extra grace for her sister that “doesn’t fit in” and can easily frustrate those around her because of those differences.
I don’t know all the right things to say and do. That keeps me dependent on God (and frustrated, sad, hopeful, angry). I’m just trying to keep it real here. It’s hard having a kid with “special needs”. It’s hard that she looks “normal” so people’s expectations of her aren’t any different from a typical child. It’s hard when people roll their eyes at me and wonder “where I went wrong” in raising her. It’s just hard!!
I was crying this morning during breakfast (remember how I said today did not start well?) M (our youngest) says to me, “Mom, are you crying because you feel sad for yourself?” I’m not a big fan of self-pity. I answered, “Yes, but I’m also sad for S and you and A, too.” Then I flipped the four pancakes onto the plate.
We have our first (after a long break) of Occupational Therapy appointments today. I’m not expecting a miracle. I am hoping for help.
That’s just real and it’s life. Thanks for listening.
p.s. If you or someone you know has a child with SPD please get this book for yourself/them. It speaks to parents on how to handle your marriage, siblings, extended family and friends, therapists and the lady at the store who keeps looking at you as if she could do a much better job of parenting your child than you.